52 weeks.

365 days. Or, if you prefer the musical, “Rent”: 525,600 minutes.

Many of you reading this particular post won’t have clear context or a backstory to reference here and that’s perfectly fine – one shouldn’t reveal ALL the cards they’ve been dealt.

So, in classic Inigo Montoya fashion, “Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.”

On this Sunday, 52 weeks ago, I entered into what has been the hardest suck fest of my adult life.

Seriously.

It was painful and raw. There were many depressing moments, to say the least. Compared to the trials others have faced and are facing, maybe it wasn’t so bad. But this is my trial, it is the path I must walk. They don’t walk mine and I do not walk theirs.
On the outside, from the perspective of the average spectator: not very much has changed at all. Behind the curtain, however, it’s a different world entirely.

Entire mindsets and ways of thinking have been changed, corrected or thrown out. Truths I have held onto – proven false or worthless – have had the same treatment. Foundational things have had major renovations. These foundational changes have then trickled into the rest of my life.

There is no going back. Red pills were swallowed.

Matrixes were unplugged. Eyes were opened.

Fears were confronted. Challenges were engaged.

Obstacles were overcome. Lessons were learned.

Growth happened.

When posed with the Cypher-esque question of whether I should’ve taken the “blue pill” in all of this. I do no regret doing what was needed and swallowing the “red pills” to get me where I am now. Though it has been hard, I must say that through this whole thing, I am grateful for it. It sounds so cliché, I know, but I am grateful for the journey.

Don’t get me wrong, the pain fucking sucked, but I believe it will be worth it in the end.
Though this journey is not over, I am stronger now because of it. I didn’t roll over and give up. I got up and kept moving forward. Even when I didn’t want to. I pushed, I learned, I grew.

I wasn’t alone.

I had a small core who were there with me. Coaching me, encouraging me, helping me work things outage sift through the mess.

To those 52 weeks of life, I say, from the bottom of my heart, “Thank you, I am a better person because of this.” I would also like to lovingly add, with a twinkle in my eye, the same way some of my training partners say to me as I have pushed them at the gym, “Fuck you.”

Life can be brutal and unforgiving, but, there are lessons to learn from it and levels of strength (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually) to gain from it.

Use the pain, the hurt, the anger as fuel to push you towards your goals and objectives.

Don’t waste the pain, use it.

Conquer your battles in spite of the pain.

No matter what, keep moving forward.