I bet you thought I was going to leave you hanging for Part 2 for another four months? Well, guess again because Jenn and I are back for the conclusion of our conversation!
In this episode, Jenn and I continue where we left off last week and here is a small list of the things we covered i this episode:
- Training Pet Peeves
- Biggest misconceptions about BJJ
- Advice to male training partners from a female
- Thoughts on Self Defense
And again, good times were had by all! The podcast can be found on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and a handful of other providers, just search for “Tom Writes and Rolls”, or go here to the Anchor Website!
Thanks for listening and please, let us know what you thought of both parts!
tomwritesandrolls.com 
I apologize it took me so long to listen to this. The notification of it got buried in the avalanche in my inbox.
So, I appreciate the discussion of there being ego for all. Weird that that wasn’t a problem for me until now. I feel bad about it like there’s something wrong with me but I guess it’s normal. I will call to mind your words that it’s me vs. me frequently.
Make yourself small. Don’t give a limb because that means death.–Good advice, and also funny!
Weird about that dude, now gone, who seemed to enjoy hurting women. What was his deal? I can’t help but think his mom left him when he was young, he was raised by a disgruntled, angry grandmother, and now he has something against women. Sad. The guy’s got issues!
My teammate’s husband thinks it’s inappropriate for her to be one of the only women training with a bunch of men. Perhaps because she’s a married woman? What’s yours and Jenn’s take on that, if you don’t mind me asking.
I’m curious as to the “why” he thinks it is inappropriate. I’ve asked Jenn for her input and I’ll respond with hers separately in this thread for you.
I’ll try to respond as if it was a guy voicing his opinion to me directly.
That’s an interesting train of thought to have: single women are ok to train with a bunch of men, but married women aren’t?
Jiu-jitsu is a close contact, body-on-body sport and martial art. So, that in and of itself can and does make people uncomfortable. Is that what makes you uncomfortable?
Martial Arts will probably always have more males than females. So, she’s always going to be outnumbered.
Understand this about Jiu-jitsu compared to many other martial arts: Jiu-jitsu can empower women to defend themselves in a real way.
Let’s face it – when we think of Male on Female crime, two things come to mind: Domestic Abuse and Rape. Both can and do involve men overpowering women and both can and do overlap.
Bad guys don’t square up with women and try to strike and kick it out. Bad guys like to put women on their back and do bad things. Jiu-jitsu makes women very comfortable and dangerous on their back and gives them a phenomenal fighting chance. It doesn’t make them super human, but it does give them a good fighting chance of surviving and escaping. It is one of the only martial arts where the moves can be tested at full strength to shake out the kinks in an encounter before it happens. So, food for thought there.
I’d encourage you to try the art out, give it a fair shake. You truly don’t know what you don’t know. So, give 1-3 months to this martial art, and then assess how you feel about it.
All so true, Tom. It seems people who aren’t a part of this can’t fully “get” it. I brought my TKD “sensei” with me last night to observe. I sat on the side with him (I’m on crutches. I’ll post about that soon.) and answered questions for him. He was curious. It was great! Anyway, I asked him if he thought women doing JJ was inappropriate. He was shaking his head before I even finished the question, but still answered, “No, not at all.” My teammate has asked her husband to come join her and see for himself, but he’s not interested. I also told her about your two podcast episodes and what Jenn said about it not at all being “like that.” I’m not sure if she told him about that, but we’ll see!
lol
From Jenn:
It would have been the same with my ex. There’s no way he would have let me train. However I think that maybe for the husband of your teammate, it could be that he doesn’t understand the sport and the respect we all have for each other at the academy. And I think the only way for him to combat that is for him to check it out and go with her. Maybe even get on the mats himself.
Jenn, why do you think your ex wouldn’t let you train? I’m curious to uncover the mindset here.
Tom here – there was a lot of insecurity in that past relationship.
Jenn here – Yeah, pretty much. About 10 years ago I really wanted to try it out, I believe I mentioned my friend and her husband doing it and started the spark of interest. Just no way he would’ve been happy with me training with other guys.
So, did you two meet on the mat? Or… seems I remember something about working together in a bank? But Tom said he trained in JJ, and Jenn was like, “Perfect!”? 🙂
Yep, worked at the same company – different divisions – and invited her to train.
That’s awesome. Good for you guys.
Thanks! 🙂
No problem, Betsy. I appreciate you bringing up the issues your friend is facing, Jenn and I are recording a new podcast on Saturday (if the fates allow) and that is one of the topics we will cover on there as well.
That’s great, Tom. I look forward to it. And, thanks. 🙂